X Friends 3: Mothers and Magnets
by Caelice
Summary: Rogue finds out Wanda and John's BIG secret, John's crazy mother comes to have dinner with him and his friends, Kitty performs for everyone in the coffeehouse, killing all the dogs in America and Pietro gets a BIIIIG surprise


God, took me ages to finish this. I'm planning on updating Mutant Eating Island next.

**Disclaimer: **I own Hailey, Charlie and Delilah

X Friends 3: Mothers and Magnets

Kitty and Pietro were sitting in the coffeehouse, both of them reading books. Kitty was writing notes on a piece of paper and Pietro was giggling over a book on accounting. The book looked very dull, but it must have been funny because Pietro was giggling often. She glanced over to him once in a while. He noticed this but said nothing. He giggled childishly after a long silence. She looked up from her notes.

"What was that?" she asked. He showed her the erotic book he had hidden inside the book on accounting.

"Boobies," he snickered.

"Twenty two, Pietro. You're twenty two!!" she said. He glared at her before pouting and turning back to his book. She rolled her eyes.

"Pietro, what was John talking about yesterday??" she asked. "Something about a mom." Pietro closed his book.

"Oh right. I never told you did I?? Well, about two years after Apocalypse and that whole thing, John's mother, out of the blue, called him to meet up with him. Apparently his father had a stroke or something and when he recovered he suddenly said that he wanted to find his son. So they got a few calls, hired a few private detectives, slept with a few people and then they found him!! Anyway, his dad's really busy all of the time, unfortunately, but his mom comes to visit once in a while," he said.

"So…what's she like??" she asked curiously. Pietro thought for a second. Then he brightened.

"Well, she's gorgeous, young and has a broad sexual attitude," he said. There was silence. Kitty looked thoughtful.

"So…she's a slut," she said, cringing slightly at the word.

"No!!" he said, looking shocked. "She's a writer for children's books!! Lance, Rogue, Wanda and I like her, but John is always embarrassed when she's around. I can understand. She's cool, but not exactly your mom type." She frowned slightly, then returned to her notes. Pietro looked at what she was writing.

"What's that??"

"It's a song. I'm teaching myself to play the guitar and I'm using this song writing to let go of my frustrations. It really helps. I hope to perform in public one day. I always thought that I had a good singing voice," she said proudly. Pietro snorted.

"I'm sure you'll be the new pop sensation in caterwauling and girly shrieks," he muttered. Kitty glared at him, but before she could say anything the door to the coffeehouse opened and Lance trudged in, face pale and dark bags under his eyes. He walked to them and stopped, staring at Pietro as if seeing him for the first time.

"Hi," he said hoarsely once he finally recognized the silver-haired speed demon. Pietro looked pitifully at him.

"Lance man, it's been weeks. Haven't you gotten any sleep??" he asked, looking concerned. Lance collapsed next to Kitty, who immediately ordered a coffee from Hans.

"No. None at all," he muttered. His voice sounded as if it had rusted. "I think…I think I've been fired. I didn't call to tell them I was sick…and yesterday someone called me and mentioned something about sacks…so I'm guessing I'm fired." He groaned and put his head in his hands. "I just…I still can't believe how stupid I was. I mean, how could I not have known??"

"How _could _you have known??" Kitty asked, rubbing his left shoulder comfortingly.

"Well there were all the signs, you know. Like, she would never, ever wear short shorts, not even in summer. She hates shopping-"

Kitty looked stricken.

"Has a small, but obvious Adam's apple-"

Pietro winced.

"And…and in her yearbooks I _wondered _why people wrote about her being a "total babe magnet". And one girl wrote this whole love letter about how she had a great time on their dates and stuff like that, but even then I just assumed that she had gone to some weird school filled with crazy people and lesbians-"

Pietro and Kitty glanced at each other, unable to hold back a smirk. Lance, thankfully, didn't notice.

"And there was that razor in the bathroom that was hers, but she told me that she waxed. She would always wake up really early, now I know that it was to shave-"

Pietro rolled his eyes. Just _how dumb _was Lance??

"And the fake breasts…I thought that she just had small breasts and wanted to…you know, enlarge them-"

"Oh God," Kitty muttered, but too soft for Lance to hear.

"And I swear to God, I suspected something when she told me she hated Oprah!!" he insisted. Pietro was now looking thoroughly exasperated.

"Jesus Lance, a _blind _man would have figured it out with all the signs she was sending you," he snapped suddenly, his voice filled with pity and annoyance at his friend's idiocy. Lance moaned and buried his face in his hands.

"I know!! I know!! And through all this I still can't believe that she's a…a _he_!! But I still love her. I still love her so much," he groaned. Pietro shook his head.

"Of course you do Lance. You lived with her for two years. You were engaged to her. You made out with her. Wait a second…you made out with a _man_," Pietro said. A disturbed look came onto his face. Lance paled slightly.

"Shit…I hadn't thought of that," he muttered, looking sick. Kitty quickly took her hand of his shoulder, looking uncomfortable. She glared at Pietro, giving him a sarcastic thumbs up. He sighed and rubbed his forehead. The door to the coffeehouse opened and John walked in. He trotted up to Hans, who was standing behind the counter, a vague smile on his face.

"Hey Hans. Look, I need to ask something. Since I work here, do I get discounts on muffins??" he asked, eyeing the muffins.

"No," Hans said shortly. John's face fell.

"What?? Come on!! Reno gets a discount," he said, referring to the other waiter who worked there.

"Reno is a good waiter. He's worked here for three years."

"Well, I haven't worked here for three years but I'm a good waiter!!"

"No you're not. You were supposed to be here…" Hans checked his watch. "Three hours ago!!" John cleared his throat guiltily.

"Well…I had a…a thing…with the thing…"

"The answer's still no." Before John could say anything Pietro called him over. John sighed and reluctantly let go of his lost cause, mourning for what could have been.

"Hey 'tro."

"Hey John. I've been meaning to ask you, since I asked Rogue and Kitty already, but do you know what's up with Wanda lately?? She's been really weird lately, always running off places and acting all…slightly less mean that usual," he said, for lack of better word or phrase. Wanda was barely ever _nice_. John stiffened at the question.

"I don't know where Wanda is. Why would I ever care where Wanda is?? I mean, Wanda is the farthest thing from my mind right now. I mean, Wanda isn't even as sexy as Halle Berry. Why would I be thinking about Wanda every single second of every minute of every day of every week?? What makes you think that, huh?? What makes you think that I think that Wanda is even sexier than that incredibly hot slut in the porno movie Great Sexpectations?? Huh??" John rambled, looking at Pietro accusatorily. There was a few seconds of silence where Pietro just looked confused, trying to take in what John had just said.

"What did I _ask_??" he said, staring at John as if he was crazy. John ignored his question.

"Because believe me, I don't care where Wanda is where Wanda is," he said, not realizing that the others were simply staring at him in confused concern. He sat down the moment that Rogue and Wanda entered the coffeehouse. Pietro opened his mouth to talk to Wanda, but when Kitty saw the two of them she squealed in happiness and stood up.

"Rogue, you have big boobs," she said. "I need your help." Rogue stared at her. She made a note to herself to check Kitty's drink afterwards.

"Uh huh…" she said slowly. Wanda snarled at Kitty as she neared the pair. She obviously didn't like her. Kitty faltered, nervous.

"Um…Rogue?? Could you come here for a second??" she asked nervously. Rogue nodded. "I need your help. You have to convince Hans to let me perform my song in front of everybody."

"Your what??"

"My song!! I wrote a song and I want to perform it in public. And the only way to do that is to perform it here!! You know, like an entertainer. Kind of a part-time job. And since every time you walk into a room all men stare at your chest area, I was hoping that you could put it to good use and help me with this," Kitty said. Rogue nodded thoughtfully.

"Okay, fine. I'll just do this thing that my boss does. You know, the little act she puts on every time that really hot guy from Human resources comes to our office. Watch this," she said. She moved to the counter where Hans was cleaning the coffee cups. Hans was quite a good-looking guy, with dark hair and shining brown eyes. Rogue stroked the counter, pouting her lips slightly and flicking her hair out of her face.

"Hello Hans," she purred. The moment Hans saw her he started to sweat, grinning nervously.

"Y-yes??" he stammered. Rogue looked troubled.

"I'm in a spot of trouble and…I really need someone's help," she said, looking really sad and at the same time shifting to a position where her lacy bra showed slightly. He gulped and loosened his collar slightly. Kitty giggled softly, trying to keep a straight face. "You see…I would ask my friends, but Lance is having his own problems and John is too dumb and Pietro…well, Pietro is Pietro. So…I really need to ask you a favor." She stroked his hand.

"What is that??" he stuttered. She smiled sweetly, moving slightly closer to him.

"Can Kitty perform her song in the coffeehouse?? She really wants to," she said, looking hopeful.

"Sure," he said, nearing her. "Wait, what??"

"Thanks Hans!! You won't regret it," Rogue said, suddenly reverting back to normal. She turned around and left a stunned, hopelessly love struck Hans. She walked back to Kitty, smiling happily. Pietro, who had heard everything, smirked as Rogue and Kitty both sat down.

"Yeah, Mary - Kate and Ashley got us out of a lot of problems in the past," he said, sipping his coffee. Rogue glared at him.

"I told you not to name them," she snapped, hugging her arms to her chest. Kitty giggled. Pietro and Rogue were such good friends. If any guys had said something like that to her, she would have slammed her Prada heels right into the middle of their forehead.

"Anyway, John, could you like, announce me to everyone??" she asked cheerfully. He looked at her blankly.

"You want me to what??"

"You know, announce me."

"Oh, right," he said, understanding her meaning. He stood up.

"Wait!! Here, take this. It's the name I've chosen for myself," she said, smiling proudly. John looked at the name on the piece of paper and, as Kitty turned to get her guitar, he leaned down towards Pietro.

"Don't drink anything when I announce her. It _will _come out your nose," he muttered softly. Pietro snorted and put down his cup, reaching for a cookie. He wasn't thirsty anymore, but he was damn hungry. John walked up to the front of the coffeehouse where people, usually professionals, performed skits or songs or poems for entertainment. He leaned towards the microphone and cleared his throat loudly. Everyone looked up.

"Hey. Um…we have a new performer here who is about to sing you a song called…um…uh…" he faltered, looking at Kitty. She made some weird gesture while mouthing something. Rogue glanced at Kitty's paper and also started to make a gesture. Frowning, he tried to decipher their meaning. "Um…the song's called…'A baby called Rabies'. Or…or…'A cup of…of…toilet'??" He squinted his eyes slightly. Kitty smacked her forehead in irritation.

"You're getting a kick out of this aren't you??" Lance asked Pietro. They were both grinning widely. Wanda was trying her best not to look at John.

"A-Anyway, um…give a big round of applause for-" he glanced at the paper she had given him. "The Kitster." Pietro choked on his muffin, hacking loudly as everyone clapped and Kitty squealed with excitement.

"Isn't it cool??" she asked. Rogue nodded out of politeness, but she was desperately trying to hide a snort of contempt. Kitty went up the front and brought the microphone to her lips. She sat down on the large stool and positioned her guitar properly.

"Hi everyone. I'm 'The Kitster' and the song I'm about to sing is "A Lady called Lust". Just so you know, my songs reflect my feelings and emotions, things that aren't acceptable in society and bare reality of life," she said wisely. The other five glanced at each other, looking impressed. She started to play. She was concentrating on her strumming and then she started to sing.

"_There's a person in the world_

_She's a woman, not a girl_

_With a pretty face and lotsa grace_

_A real sweet ass and a tiny waist."_

Pietro glanced at Rogue. He mouthed the words 'Sweet ass' to her. She glared at him.

"_She's Lady Lust_

_She's Lady Lust_

_Has lotsa hickeys_

_And a great big bust"_

Pietro immediately looked to Rogue, who snarled at him. The five looked at each other. Had they misunderstood?? Kitty's voice was incredibly high-pitched and screechy when she sang, so it was quite hard to understand. Lance resisted the urge to close his ears.

"_She'll make you beg_

_Bring her charm up a notch_

_Then up goes her leg_

_Right into your crotch"_

John cleared his throat and Pietro crossed his legs. Rogue and Lance looked stunned. Wanda was laughing her head off.

"_Don't trust 'er_

_Cause one day_

_She'll bust ya" _

Kitty stopped. Everyone hesitantly started to clap but she shot them a glare and they cringed.

"_You love your girl _

_You'll both have sex_

_She's your whole world_

_Then she'll screw her ex_

_With his great big nipples_

_And rock hard pecs_

_All because of a Lady_

_Lady, Lady Lust"_

She stopped strumming and started to rap, drumming her fingers against her guitar. Everyone, looking a little bit uncomfortable, nodded along to her rapping.

"_They once were good_

_But that was then_

_Manipulative bitch_

_Turned boys into men_

_We hate men_

_They stink and should die_

_They screw then sneak out_

_Without saying goodbye"_

"HEY!!" Pietro snapped, looking miffed. John and Lance also looked mad. A few of the men in the coffeehouse squeaked in protest.

"I don't do that!!" Lance snapped.

"Me too!!" John said. Pietro raised his eyebrows. John glared at them for a second, then sighed in annoyance. "Fine, but Lance and Pietro don't!!"

"_She's Lady Lust_

_She's Lady Lust_

_Has lotsa hickeys _

_And a great big bust_

_Never trust_

_Lady Lust…" _

Kitty stopped singing, then bowed. There was some scattered applause, but some enthusiastic applause from a group of women in the corner. Pietro, Lance, John, Rogue and Wanda were all silent as Kitty approached them.

"So…what did you think??" she asked excitedly. Pietro, although he was usually a nice guy, was always the one to make sarcastic, somewhat mean jokes or comments. But at the moment his head was filling up with so many that he was completely overwhelmed.

"Um…" Rogue said, not exactly sure what to say about her friends slightly screechy, unsuitable, inappropriate performance. She didn't really want to hurt her feelings. After all, Kitty was her friend. Her very sensitive, prone to long grudges and incessant sobbing friend. She cleared her throat. Pietro, who had finally gotten his thoughts in order, spoke out first.

"I thought it was illegal to torture cats," he joked. Kitty laughed.

"That's a good one. That's funny," she said, punching him on the shoulder, a little harder than expected. He rubbed his shoulder. "Seriously, what did you think??" They glanced at each other. She looked so happy that none of them, not even Wanda, felt like crushing her spirits.

"It was…great," Lance said, plastering a fake smile to his face. They all agreed quickly.

"Yeah, wonderful."

"Fantastic."

"Yeah, you should do this regularly," Lance said. Pietro yelped. Kitty smiled happily, basking in the glow of all the praise.

"Great!! I'll go put my guitar away." She left. Pietro glared at Lance.

"Why?? WHY??" he asked loudly. "_You should do this regularly_. Now she's going to want to play here all the time!!" Lance shrugged.

"I'm sorry!! I didn't know what to say!!"

"No we have to find another place to drink coffee!!" Pietro whined. John turned to Rogue.

"Is there blood coming out of my ears??" he questioned, massaging the side of his head. Rogue rubbed her temples. Lance groaned.

"I cannot believe I ever let her kiss me with that mouth. I mean, that was the worst song _ever_," he said, emphasizing the last word. Pietro stood up, putting his coat on.

"Alright, I'm off. I'm off to go pick out a dog. Rena wanted me to go to the pet shop to see what kind of dogs they have. But with Kitty's incredibly high frequency singing, I'll be surprised if there are any dogs left alive in America."

* * *

Rogue was waiting in the hallway of Wanda's building, looking through her purse.

"Damn wallet," she muttered, ruffling through the pockets of her purse. She heard footsteps coming towards her. She looked up and saw John walking towards Wanda's door, grinning happily and holding a bottle of wine.

"Hey John," she said loudly.

"GAK!!" he shrieked, jumping loudly in surprise. She stepped back, a little bit surprised. "Oh right, it's you." He cleared his throat uncomfortably.

"What are you doing here??"

"I'm doing my girlfriend," he improvised. Rogue snorted, but John didn't notice. _Not bad_, he thought. _I'm getting way better at this quick thinking thing_. He winced, recalling the morning after he had slept with Wanda the first time. Pietro was still shooting him weird looks, even though it had been two weeks. Plus, John found that he couldn't sleep at night anymore. He was too scared to.

"Oh really?? What's her name??" Rogue asked curiously. She hadn't heard about John having a girlfriend.

"It's…_Biscuit_," he said. Rogue raised an eyebrow.

"Biscuit. And she lives in Wanda's apartment," she said, referring to the fact that he had been walking to Wanda's apartment.

"No. I'm here to…borrow a…a…curtain," he stumbled.

"A curtain?? Why??"

"For privacy."

"Why doesn't she have a curtain??"

"She burnt it."

"How??"

"Withfire!!" he said. "How else!!"

He faltered.

"Oh, right, just to ask, do you have some cash?? Pietro refuses to give me money since the last time I spent about two hundred dollars in the arcade and three hundred on beer," he muttered.

"Oh?? Were you having a party??"

"No, a Thursday night." There was a pause as John looked all dreamy at the thought of beer. Rogue looked through her purse.

"How do you want it??" she asked.

"In _money_," he said. She glared at him.

"I mean, do you want it in cash or in a check." She held out some cash. He took it from her.

"Cash. Thanks. So, what were _you _doing here??" he asked pointedly.

"Oh, Wanda and I were supposed to go out for a girls' afternoon thing.

"You mean, right now?? Like, at this moment. One o clock??"

"Yes."

"Oh. OH," he said. "I have to go." He turned and left as quickly as he came, leaving a stunned Rogue. She shrugged and opened the door to Wanda's apartment. Wanda never bothered to lock her door. She looked around the room. Wanda wasn't there.

"Wanda??" she said softly. She always felt like whispering in an empty room. Wanda's voice rang out suddenly, low and seductive.

"Come in." Rogue looked up in surprise. Wanda's voice was coming from her bedroom. The door was closed. Rogue opened it and walked in.

"Hey Wanda I – AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!" she practically threw herself out of the room. "OH MY GOD!! OH MY GOD!! WHAT!! WHAT!! WHAT!!" She screamed loudly. Wanda ran out of the room looking stressed and shocked. She was wearing fishnet stockings with latches, an incredibly low cut, slightly transparent black dress that ended just below the buttocks.

"Wait!! Look, it's not that bad!!" she cried.

"Not that bad?? You're half-naked!! And what about the position you were in??" Rogue screamed. Wanda grabbed a flimsy red robe and quickly put it on.

"Look, it's not what you think!! I was waiting for a guy!!" she said. Rogue looked at her, completely grossed out.

"Well, duh!! What did you _think_ that I thought it was??" she shrieked.

"Okay, still screaming!!" Wanda snapped. Rogue calmed down.

"Okay. Okay. _Why_ were you waiting for a guy?? I mean, weren't we supposed to go out?? Girls afternoon out or whatever??" she said, gesturing wildly.

"I told you to meet me a two!!" Wanda cried. There was a second of silence. Then Rogue groaned.

"Oh yeee-aaaaah…I forgot about that," she murmured. "_Really _wish I'd been listening. So who's the guy??" Wanda's eyes widened.

"Um, nobody," she muttered. Rogue snorted.

"Come on, I mean, if he was going to meet you at one then I must have seen him in the hallway or…" she stopped, her eyes widening. "Oh my god…oh my god oh my god _ohmygodohmygodohmygod_!!"

The door opened and John ran in. Rogue screamed and pointed to him in shock.

"OH MY GOD!! YOU AND WANDA!! WANDA AND YOU!! OH MY GOD!!" she shrieked. John groaned.

"Yea, I guessed that she'd figure it out after I saw her in the hallway so I thought I'd come back and eavesdrop," he explained to Wanda's questioning look. Rogue was still screaming. Her voice had become even more high-pitched than Kitty's. Wanda and John both knew that when Rogue was like this, the only thing they could do was wait until she calmed down.

A few minutes later her voice trailed off and she was left staring at them in horror and amazement.

"Rogue, look, don't freak out. It's not a huge deal," Wanda said, holding her hands in front of her and nervously reaching out towards the shocked Goth.

"It is!!" Rogue cried. "You guys are dating??"

"No!!" John replied quickly. "It's just sex. It's meaningless." Wanda looked slightly annoyed at that comment, but she said nothing. Rogue calmed down slightly. In _her _opinion having a fling was disgusting and disrespectful, but considering that it was Wanda and John, maybe it was better that way.

"You guys are…just doing it?? It's nothing serious," she said. The both nodded mutely, Wanda a little more grudgingly than John. "Well, good luck when Pietro finds out." John paled slightly. Rogue moved to stride out of the apartment but he grabbed her.

"Please Rogue, don't tell anyone. It's just, we don't really want people to know and start judging us. I mean, Pietro would kill me, Kitty would look down on us, Lance…well, Lance has too many problems of his own right now. It's just a quick fling, and it'll be over soon," he said. Wanda stiffened, but they didn't noticed. Rogue looked at both of them.

"You don't want anyone…to know…" she said slowly. "Alright, fine, as long as you pretend that there's nothing _to _know."

* * *

A few hours later Lance, Kitty, Pietro and Rogue were waiting at a table in a fancy restaurant. Pietro and Rogue were seated together and Lance and Kitty were seated together. Rogue and Pietro seemed to be doing something important. They were looking intently in between them and frowning in concentration.

"Oh no. Damn it!! I can't believe I just lost ten dollars," Rogue said angrily. Kitty assumed that she was looking at her Blackberry or maybe receiving a message on her cell phone. Pietro looked gleeful and muttered something softly. A few minutes passed and Rogue groaned again.

"Great, now I've lost another ten dollars," Rogue snapped glaring at Pietro. Lance looked slightly curious.

"What are you doing?? Betting on the races??" he asked interestedly. They looked up at him. Both of them were sweating with concentration and there was a crazed look in their eyes.

"No, we're playing thumb wars," Rogue snapped. She turned back to Pietro. "Okay I bet 20."

"You're on!!" They resumed their game.

Wanda and John came into the restaurant looking flustered. John was looking cheerful while Wanda had a sour look on her face.

"Hi guys!!" John said happily, grinning at the four. Pietro grinned back.

"Why are you guys late??" he asked. Wanda cleared her throat, the sour look vanishing and being replaced by an anxious one.

"My damn assistants were acting really silly and when John here was nice enough to pick me up my damn assistants had created chaos in the office that we had to stay behind to sort it out. Those damn assistants," Wanda lied, giggling nervously. Rogue buried her head in her hands. Terrible, simply terrible.

"But…you don't have assistants. Or an office," Pietro said, confused. Wanda paled slightly.

"Oh dear…I'm having delusions of grandeur again. Excuse me while I go to the bathroom and quickly wash up before I start feeling drunk with power," she muttered. She strode away. John sat down. Pietro looked at him weirdly.

"What is _up _with you two??" he questioned. Rogue looked at him with raised eyebrows, trying to hint the answer to his question. He looked at her, then looked at John, then looked in the direction of the bathroom. Then back at John, whose eyes had widened fearfully. "Wait a second…"

"Yes, Pietro??" Rogue urged. John glared at her.

"I forgot to collect Dave at the airport," Pietro groaned, tilting his head back in annoyance. Rogue sighed and rolled her eyes while John looked relieved. Wanda came back, looking refreshed, but her face was slid back into a furious one. John frowned, wondering why she was looking so angry.

"You feeling better??" Kitty asked, concerned. "You look terrible." Wanda looked at her.

"Bite me, baby!!" she snapped. Kitty flushed and looked away. They all knew that Wanda didn't like Kitty, and that Kitty was terrified of Wanda. Wanda sat down and poured herself some wine. She gulped it down in two seconds and slammed the glass back down.

"Give me some more wine," she snapped to Kitty, who had reached for the bottle.

"Don't you think you should wait-"

"WINE!!"

"Okay!!" Kitty said quickly, pouring the wine. Wanda practically threw it down her throat. John looked at her questioningly. Suddenly a woman appeared at the door of the restaurant, looking flushed and fluttered.

"Do you have a reservation??" The maitre'd as politely. She looked at him.

"Of course I have a reservation. I always have a reservation when I come to Chez Maurice's. The only time I didn't was when I was hiding from my husband who was constantly trying to get into my pants," she said smoothly. "I'm listed under Allerdyce. _Delilah _Allerdyce." The maitre'd pointed her out to the table. She flicked her wild red hair at him as she strutted to their table, her grey eyes shining brightly.

"Johnny!!" she cried, holding her arms out.

"And there's _Mommy_," he snarled under his breath, giving her a quick hug.

"Hi, honey," she said happily. "Hi, kids!!"

"Hi, Mrs. Allerdyce," the others chanted. She laughed and slid down onto the chair. She smiled at Lance.

"Oh I've missed you guys. Wait, who's this?? A pretty new face??" she said, looking at Kitty. John introduced them. "Okay now, I need gossip. How's it going with your social lives sweethearts??" she asked vibrantly, smiling at them. Pietro grinned.

"Well, I'm asking Rena to move in with me in a week," he said cheerfully. "I think it's time we moved in together. It's been almost seven months after all." He drank his water. Rogue lifted a glass of tequila questioningly. "No thanks, I don't feel like drinking."

"Rena?? But, isn't that a girl's name??" Delilah asked.

"But a man can _change_," Pietro muttered, reaching for the tequila. John and Lance were laughing their asses off. "Yes, it _is _a girl's name. I'm not gay, Mrs. Allerdyce." Wanda snorted loudly.

"_I'm not gay, Mrs. Allerdyce. _Can you _hear _yourself??" Delilah insisted. She suddenly looked at the empty bowl in the middle of the table. "Where are the rest of the chips??" Kitty blushed a tomato red.

"Oh, I thought that everyone had finished with them so I gave them to…to my throat," she murmured softly.

"So…how's it going in the career department??" Delilah asked, changing the subject. She often did that without warning. Rogue perked up immediately.

"Oh well, I'm doing great. My company just promoted a new design that _I _suggested," she said proudly.

"Well, nothing different for me. Still a waiter," John muttered gloomily. Delilah put her arm around him comfortingly.

"I got fired," Wanda muttered.

"Oh!! That stinks," Delilah said, her voice full of pity. She turned to Lance.

"How about you, Lance??" she asked. "How is it going with the students?? You teach…Biology, right??" Lance nodded. Kitty looked at him in surprise.

"What?? But Rogue said you taught Physics!!" she said. Lance glanced at Rogue.

"Did she?? Oh well, they get it wrong so many times I got tired of correcting them. No, I'm a biology professor. And it's going pretty well. At least, I haven't gotten fired yet." They chatted for a bit, then Delilah turned to Kitty.

"And how about…Kitty, yes?? How about you??"

"Oh well, I've become a performer. I perform songs in Hans' Coffeehouse," she said, smiling.

"Hans' Coffeehouse??"

"Yes, that the name of the place. And I'm hoping that it might actually turn out to be a part-time job. I'm still searching for a full-time job though," she said eagerly, crossing her fingers. Pietro finally spoke up.

"Well, I just hooked two new clients, so things are going really well. Oh!! _And_ I got a pet," he said proudly. He reached into the bag he had brought with him and took out his new pet.

There was a stunned silence.

"_That _is the ugliest dog I have ever seen," Lance said bluntly. Pietro looked at the animal in his hands. It struggled to get free.

"It's not a dog. It's a _ferret_," Pietro snapped, holding up his grey ferret. It was small, and kind of cute, but it hissed at them, revealing small, sharp teeth. Rogue screamed.

"_Oh my god get it away from me!!_" she shrieked. "Is it _on _me?? I swear I can feel it biting me!!" She wriggled, moving as far away from him as she could. Pietro snickered loudly, moving the ferret towards her. She squealed and moved away.

"Why didn't you just get a _dog_??" Lance asked.

"Well, we wanted to but we just couldn't find a dog that fit. They were all too skinny or too fat or too nice or too mean or too stupid or too smart," he listed.

"Sounds like Kitty going boyfriend shopping," Rogue muttered. Kitty kicked her under the table.

"Ow!!"

Pietro put the ferret back in his bag.

"What are you going to name him??" Delilah asked curiously, entwining her red hair and leaning forward. The others had always noticed the special attention she had given Pietro. Pietro himself noticed it. It was pretty obvious. He cleared his throat and dropped his fork nervously. He reached down to pick it up and bumped the table, knocking over his empty glass. They all groaned. Pietro was often very clumsy when he was nervous, a trait that had developed over the recent years.

"Um, Rena - my girlfriend, my significant other, the love of my life – wants to call him Jack Sparrow or William Turner. But I have my objections," he said. Kitty and Rogue sighed at the mention of the two movie characters. "And my choices were Grumpy, Sneezy, Sleepy, Happy, Bashful, Doc or…there was another one…" He faltered, thinking hard. Rogue and Wanda had their eyebrows raised while John and Delilah shook their heads. Lance pretended to be thinking hard.

"Oh, what could it be??" he said sarcastically. Wanda giggled. Lance smiled at her, while Kitty and John glared at the two with pure jealousy. Rogue, the only person who knew the reason for both of their attitudes, looked uncomfortable.

"Maybe…Dopey??" Delilah quipped. Pietro smacked his hand lightly on the table.

"Yes!! Dopey!!" he cried triumphantly. Wanda rolled her eyes.

"Why don't you try thinking of a name that _doesn't _belong to one of the Seven Dwarfs??"

The other all chuckled. Pietro frowned.

"Who??" he questioned. Wanda raised her eyebrows. "Anyway, Rena didn't want those names."

"Well obviously. Why don't you try giving the ferret some _normal _names, like Fluffy or Bobo??" Kitty said kindly. Pietro sniffed.

"No way. The only people who give names like that to their pets are prissy, annoying, girly girls," Pietro snapped. "I'm looking for some originality." Rogue rolled her eyes in annoyance.

"Yeah, because it's soooo original giving him names from Snow White," she said.

"Who??"

They all stared at him.

"Okay, when we go home, I'm going to sit you down and make you watch that movie," Rogue said reassuringly, patting his knee.

They started to chat about life, friends, family and things like that. During their conversation Rogue accidentally let slip that Wanda was having sexual relations with someone. Her eyes widened and she blushed furiously under Wanda's furious gaze. John clamped up immediately. The others, except for John and Rogue, looked shocked.

"What?? Wanda!!" Pietro cried. "Who's the guy??"

"You don't know him!!" Wanda snapped, kicking Rogue under the table.

"Ouch!!" Lance cried, almost spilling his drink all over the tablecloth. Wanda cleared her throat, looking embarrassed. Wrong person.

Then it was time for Delilah to step in. Most parents usually embarrassed their children by being too strict and setting curfews and acting like complete dickheads. But Delilah was a very different type of parent. She embarrassed John a lot more than a normal parent would. She was too open, too forward and wasn't above flirting with his friends or quizzing them about their sex life.

"So Wanda, what's it like?? Is it passionate and gentle and tender, or is it raunchy and animal and-"

"Okaaaaay!!" John interrupted, looking slightly disturbed. Delilah looked stricken.

"What?? Look, my sex life hasn't been very active lately. Your father's much too busy," she said. Then she brightened and turned to Wanda. "I know!! Why don't, one day, you, your little buddy and I get together and we have a-"

"Oh god!!" Rogue burst out. She, Wanda and John had turned as white as paper. Delilah laughed delightedly.

"I'm just kidding, sweetheart," she said. Rogue quickly changed the subject and the atmosphere turned back to mildly tolerable. They ordered quickly and chatted loudly, annoying some of the other customers. When the food came, to Kitty's surprise, Rogue started shoveling it down her throat like there was no tomorrow. She stared at her in amazement. Rogue noticed.

"What??" she asked, her mouth full. "I like to eat. Is that so bad??" The others, who already knew about Rogue's relationship with food, didn't seem to notice. But Kitty hadn't seen her friend for five years, so she knew nothing about it. Pietro leant towards her.

"Yeah, Rogue's become a pig over the last few years," he muttered. Rogue hit him. His hand knocked into his knife, making a loud noise and causing everyone to turn around. He blushed with embarrassment and murmured an apology.

"What's the big deal?? So I like food. What horrifies _me _is that Kitty can't eat meat. I mean, what's up with _that_??" she said. Kitty sniffed.

"I only eat food that does good things to my body," she said, looking all high and mighty. John ran his hand up her inner thigh, grinning slyly.

"I can do good things to your body," he said flirtatiously. She blushed furiously, but said nothing. Wanda stood up suddenly, her eyes black with rage.

"I'm going to go to the bathroom," she said shortly, and walked away, hands straight by her sides. The others didn't notice, except for Delilah. She quickly excused herself from the table a few minutes later and found Wanda outside, sitting next to the bathroom door. She had her fists clenched angrily and was grinding her teeth.

"What's wrong dear??" Delilah asked. Wanda glanced at her, then went back to staring into space. "Is it John?? He's the one your having _boom-boom_ with right??" Wanda, ignoring her use of language, stared at her.

"How did…"

"Oh please, Wanda, I know my son very well, despite not having been there to see him grow up. I only made those jokes to make sure my guess was correct. Now, what's wrong??" She sat next to Wanda in an elegant position so as not to rip her dress.

"Well, John's not taking our relationship seriously, he's openly flirting with other girls in front of me and I _think_ I just used the men's bathroom," she muttered glumly. Delilah sighed.

"Well, was this relationship _suppose _to be serious?? I thought that it was just sex, and that you weren't committing to each other."

"It was!! But now…I don't know. I think that I've just gotten in over my head. I mean, it was two weeks since we first slept together, and at first I was only looking forward to sleeping with him, but then something changed. I just want to be close to him and sit on his lap and maybe even _cuddle_, but he doesn't want our relationship to be anything more than what it already is."

"Well, I think that you're just going to have to face the fact that you have feelings for my son."

"What?? I do not have feelings!!"

"Yes you are, you're in love with him."

"What?? I'm not in love!!"

"You so are!! You're completely obsessed!!"

"What?? I'm not obsessed!!" Wanda protested. Suddenly it dawned on her. She was. She so was. She groaned loudly, putting her head in her hands and leaning back against the wall.

"I'm sorry sweetie."

"I have feelings for him."

"Yes, dear."

"I'm in love with him."

"I just said that."

"I'm completely obsessed with him."

"Okay, what are you, a parrot??" Delilah snapped, looking annoyed. Wanda apologized. They were both silent for a few minutes. Then Delilah stood up and left her to brood.

* * *

Kitty opened the door to her apartment, holding her purse tightly. She walked in, trying to balance on her incredibly high heels. Pietro and Rogue were inside the apartment, sitting on the couch. Pietro was sobbing loudly, holding a crumpled tissue to his eyes. Kitty looked at him in concern.

"What's like, wrong??" she asked. The Pietro she had known many years ago had never cried or shown any sign of weakness

"It's so sad," he blubbered. Rogue, looking completely exasperated, handed him a tissue. He took it and blew his nose.

"What's so sad??"

"Snow Whi-hi-hiiiiite," Pietro wailed. Rogue groaned.

"Oh for god's sake Pietro!! She came back to life!! Will you let it go already!!" she cried. Kitty was watching this in disbelief.

"_That's _what's sad?? I thought someone had like, _died_!!" she said. Rogue rolled her eyes.

"Well, over the years Pietro has become slightly more…sensitive," she said. "It's the reason so many people have come to believe he's gay. That and his obsession with his hair."

"Hey!! Sensitive, styled men are hot!!" Pietro protested. Rogue rolled her eyes.

"Yeah…I'm so attracted to you right now," she said sarcastically. Pietro sobbed even louder. Kitty looked critically at his hair. She opened her mouth to comment but Rogue shook her head in warning. Pietro stood up and went to the bathroom, still sniffling. Kitty sat down next to Rogue, looking disturbed. Rogue noticed this immediately and raised her eyebrow questioningly.

"What's up??" Kitty glanced at her and then sighed.

"Nothing. Well, it's something…it's just…everything's changed. Well, every_one_'s changed. You guys are all so different. I mean, even _I _haven't changed that much. But you guys…" she faltered. Rogue nodded slightly.

"Well, I guess you're right. I think, for Pietro, it was mostly thanks to one event. It was a few months after you left and Magneto got it in his head one day to tell Pietro what a failure he was, and how he was a disappointment to his father and things like that. Then he left. Anyway, Pietro completely changed. He stopped using his mutant powers for anything even remotely related to his father's cause, just for everyday things. And, without it, he just became nicer. He's still a complete jerk sometimes though. And the sensitive thing happened right after Magneto left. It kind of opened a gate, I guess," she said.

Kitty listened intently. She had missed so much in the five years, she was eager to catch up. She hated feeling left out.

"Okay, that explains Pietro, but what about the rest of you guys??"

"Well, Wanda became more of a bitch because she was so pissed at Magneto for what he did to her brother. She didn't care much about her father leaving, but she hated that he said those things to Pietro. That pretty much it for her. John, well, he was always crazy. And the only thing that has changed is the amount of girls he's slept with and the amount of alcohol he drinks. And he's become a bit…dumber," Rogue said slowly. Kitty nodded, her face twisted in agreement.

"Lance, well, he's just become smarter. He worked so damn hard to go to college. Oh, and now he sucks at flirting. It's quite funny," Rogue said. Kitty giggled.

"Really??"

"Yeah. If it ever happens, I promise I'll call you over to watch it. Pietro and I get loads of entertainment out of his inability to flirt," she said, laughing softly.

"And you??" Kitty asked suddenly. Rogue's smiled tightened suddenly and she became slightly bitter.

"After you left I kind of…felt the need to fill up the empty space. I went shopping like mad and I found myself starting to even get interested in fashion. I went completely crazy on clothes and well, now I'm a big executive at Gucci," she said, smirking widely. "And as for me being best friends with Pietro…well, it just happened. We kind of

"Boastful, too," she muttered. Pietro walked out of the bathroom. He was no longer crying.

The doorbell rang.

Pietro looked up. He opened the door. Standing in the doorway was a tall, gorgeous woman with reddish brown, wavy hair and a slim figure. She looked to be about twenty-three or twenty-two and she had a bitter look on her face. Kitty and Rogue leaned to the side to get a better view of her. Rogue whistled softly. She was hot.

"Well, well, well. Pietro Maximoff. Haven't seen you in nine damn years," she drawled sourly, stepping forward. Pietro moved back, obviously intimidated.

"Uh…uh…who are you??" he asked meekly. She grabbed his front collar and dragged him towards her. He whimpered.

"_Nine _years ago Pietro. _Think!!_" she hissed. He frowned thoughtfully, searching desperately in his mind. Then suddenly comprehension dawned on him.

"Hailey…" he whispered. She let go of him and he fell on the ground. He reached for the side table, knocking the plastic vase down. He put it back up. It fell down again and he fumbled to get it back up. "But…but…" He tried to stand up and knocked over the plastic vase, a book and a telephone. "Oh crap. But…but…why are you here?? What are you doing here??" She walked back to the doorway, then turned to face him.

"You mean…you never knew??" she asked. The bitterness was gone and replaced with confusion. He frowned in puzzlement.

"Know _what_??" he shrieked.

"Okay, what the _hell _happened nine years ago??" Rogue asked, interrupting their 'pleasant' conversation. Hailey and Pietro turned to the other two in surprise, as if they had completely forgotten about their presence. Pietro cleared his throat and scratched his neck.

"Um, when I was thirteen and she was fourteen, we kind of…did it," he muttered. Rogue stared.

"What?? You told me your first time was at sixteen!!"

"That was my second time," Pietro muttered. Hailey spoke up.

"We had been dating for about a year, in secret though. And well, shortly after that Pietro left to another part of the city, so we lost contact," she turned back to him. "So you seriously…never knew??" She looked at him questioningly.

"KNEW WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT???" Pietro screamed, his impatience getting the best of him. Hailey sighed, covering her face in horror.

"Oh god…oh god…this is bad…this is so bad…" she muttered into her hands. Pietro, Rogue and Kitty glanced at each other as she put down her hands and sighed, looking like she was preparing herself for something. "Okay…okay…um…I guess I'll just ease you in." She was muttering to herself. Pietro cleared his throat.

"Hailey??" he said. Her head jerked up.

"Oh, right. Um…okay…nine years ago we did it right. And you moved away a few days later. And about a few weeks later, the day after I had turned fifteen, I got some pretty bad news," she said. Pietro, who already realized where she was headed to, paled suddenly. His mouth opened and closed like a fish. "I was pregnant. And well, I thought that you knew about it, but since you never contacted me or came back to visit me, I figured that you had been a coward and run off to leave me deal with it." She looked sad at this thought. Pietro somehow managed to force a few words out of his mouth.

"No…no…of course not," he said, rubbing his eyes. "So why are you here, talking to me??" Hailey looked at him for a few seconds. He didn't move, looking at her questioningly. She groaned.

"Pietro…I don't think you understand."

"Understand what??"

"Um…Pietro…you have a nine year old daughter." Pietro stared at her in horror.

"Holy crap."

Kitty leaned over to Rogue.

"Would this be a bad time to tell him that his shirt is inside out??" she whispered. Rogue nodded.

"Definitely."

* * *

Okay, added a little more drama.

Now, Delilah, who is my character, is John's mom and yes, she is _supposed _to be that weird. And next chapter we'll see more of Hailey and we'll also meet Pietro's daughter.

Anyway, any questions or opinions or anything, put them in a review…seriously. : )

- Speeddemonrox


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